Kryptonite
by Starlight Dream Weaver
Summary: A patient lurks in the shadows watching the red headed doctor


What's going on!?: Yep, Kim Legaspi's in it. I started writing this along time ago. Malucci is still there and was never fired. Basically, it's an AU!

Authors Notes: I started writing this about a year ago now and has been posted on different sites under various names and it's getting harder to maintain a constant writing pattern. So hopefully for those who've started reading this and asked for more, should see some here. I will add as time goes by, but not a lot of time these days, Tempus Fugit. 

Thanks to all the people who've helped me, Metz by Beta, JR my inspiration, Vick for all those long hours, and everyone else.  
**_witchofeastwick1@hotmail.com_** **_witchofeastwick2001@yahoo.co.uk_** **_http://www.angelfire.com/musicals/dream_weaver_**

Kryptonite 

The scene replayed over and over in her mind. It haunted her day and night but as much as she wanted to exorcize it, it would never leave. 

It had been so familiar, eerily familiar, stabbed and left for dead, the fear hung thick in the air, the loneliness, the blood, the pain, the thought of never being found, dying alone, dying and never being found. 

It had been too familiar to Kerry Weaver. She pushed the feeling to the back of her mind; this wasn't the time or the place to think about it, not at work.

The ER was busy, there were patients that needed to be seen, work to be done and she was having a small crisis in the lounge. She collected herself together and grabbed her crutch. She looked at it. She had had it for so long, she wished she could forget why she had it. She straightened her self out and left the lounge, back into the busy ER, she couldn't have picked a better time to go back, as a new trauma pulled up.

The ambulance's sirens stopped, leaving the lights flashing, the paramedics hopped out the van and wheeled the latest patient in, under the watchful eye of Mark Greene.  The paramedic gave the bullet, Kerry watching them in a daze, the voice hollow, slow, nowhere near understandable. They seemed to walk in slow motion, Kerry walking behind them to assist, the world spinning before her. 

As the world regained some sort of regularity, she went into the trauma room, grabbing a paper smock and gloves as she went in. "Three, no wait four GSW's to the chest" "Someone page Benton" "On it" "Call the blood bank and get four units of O Neg down here" Kerry watched as the worked on the bloody youth, Malik pulling a gun from the boys pants and putting it in a plastic bag and taking it away. Luka came in, closely followed by Benton 

"What've got?" 

"Four GSW's to the chest, no exit wounds" 

"Pressure's falling" 

"Kerry, Can you get over here and give me a hand" Mark hazy in front of her she stared at him, the slow deep voice not registering with her "Kerry, Kerry" He yelled she snapped out of it, slightly and stumbled towards him "I need you to help get his pressure up" She worked with him, carefully, not making a mistake, Mark looked up at her every so often, watching the experienced doctor, her hands slightly shaking, her brow had small sweat beads forming on it, concentrating. 

He hadn't seen her look like that during a case before, except during working on Lucy. Kerry seemed to have huge black bags under her eyes, he hadn't noticed that before, her skin paler than usual, her face tired and she had been somewhat distracted of late. He dismissed it for the moment as the patient crashed 

"Asistily"

"Charging paddles" 

"Clear" Kerry watched as they passed electricity through the patient's heart, internally, the jolt making the heart jerk slightly. The monitor continued to flat line "Charging again 360" "Clear" They stepped back and the paddles sent another electric jolt through the patients heart, after the fifth attempt, they still had no effect. "Once more, charging and clear" this time the monitor beeped back to life "get him up to the OR now" Mark shouted, Benton grabbed one end of the gurney, accompanied by some nurses. 

They left the room, Kerry stared at the blood on the floor "I've got this one Kerry" Mark said putting a hand on her shoulder, assuming Kerry was there to help clean up "Kerry" she didn't move, didn't respond, just stared, then looked blankly at Mark and left the room. "Okay then" Mark looked at Chuny, who smiled "Maybe It's a full moon tonight" Mark smiled "Yeah maybe" 

Kerry walked out into the hall, she looked around, she wished she wasn't there and that she was at home, in the bathtub, drinking a large glass of wine, that situation wasn't happening anytime soon. 

She went over to the patient board and picked up a chart. She walked over to the exam rooms, where she found Carter and Lucy, lying in pools of their blood, lying still, she had found them, she had worked on Lucy, she had covered Lucy's dead body, she had to hear how she died, and she had to work on the man who killed her. She stopped for a second, then realised, her patient was waiting; she pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind.

She walked into the exam room where her patient waited. The patient was a young woman, who sat on the edge of the bed nervously. Kerry looked at the chart, apparent abdominal pains. After an hour the Kerry was sending the patient up stairs with a rule out appy, and was onto the next patient. 

As she walked down the corridor she tried to ignore the dizziness and the nauseous feeling, she also tried to ignore Kim Legaspi who came marching down the corridor, she smiled softly at Kerry, who half smiled back and continued to limp down the corridor. The smile quickly disappearing from her face. She'd tried with Kim, but she was mentally and physically tired of it. Kim was another thought at the back of her mind now, another thing to forget, another person who'd forget her, she knew she never meant any thing in Kim's life, just another toy in her games. And that hurt so much, she wanted to forget it. She walked into the suture room, chart in hand and looked at the patient. Lucy. Lucy sat on the gurney, her face pale, her eye's full of pain, her neck bleeding, her chest bleeding, her stomach bleeding, every where. Lucy clawed at her chest, mouthing the words "Pain, help me" Kerry stared at her, a scream in her mouth, unable to leave, as Lucy sat there bleeding on the gurney, on the floor. Instead she turned on her heel and limped out the room as fast as possible, leaving a very confused patient sat on the gurney with his hand on a tray asking, "What did I do?" 

Kerry limped as fast as she could into the bathrooms, and emptied the very little contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl. Until she was certain her stomach was going to make an appearance through her mouth. She leant back again the toilet partition, wiping her mouth, fighting the tears. She rubbed her temples and stood up, flushed the toilet, washed her mouth out and washed her face and exited the bathrooms, as though nothing had happened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was more than pleased when her shift had finished and would have done a celebratory dance if at all possible, but instead she gathered her things and made her way out the doors, knowing it was too good to be true when she heard Romano's voice behind her "Um, Dr weaver, can I have a word a minute?" it was more a command than a request. 

She stopped, sighed, her shoulder's dragging down, and she turned around, putting in her best fake smile she had "Yes Robert" "I need you to pull a double shift" "What!?" "I need you to do a double shift, we're short staffed as you know, and seeing as you're the chief of this department, I need you to set a good example to the rest of the staff and pull a double, most of today's…" he stopped looking at his watch "Yesterday's shift are staying on too, that's how bad the situation has got, and either you stay and work, or you're fired" As she opened her mouth to object he got in first "Good Kerry, remember you are getting paid for this" and he almost ran away before she could reply. She was almost certain steam would be coming out of her ears if she was a cartoon, then she could drop an acme weight on that Elma Fudd looking, man's head. She reversed and limped back into the lounge.

 As she re-emerged to the nurse's station, she was greeted with the rest of the staff. Mark stood cleaning his glasses, Carter sat playing doom; Malucci was trying his best to chat up Randi, most of the staff she had just worked with were still there. She sighed and joined the group. Coffee in hand she sat at the desk, going through patient charts.   

The night shift was slow. It was real slow. Normally it was heaving, but tonight it was slow. She knew this was a total jinx as she thought it, but Kerry thought it anyway, and sure enough, through the doors, crashed a patient. Actually a patient being carried by a young man. "I need some help here!" the man screamed, as Kerry yelled for a gurney and doctors and nurses swarmed around them. Kerry got to the back of the gurney, watched as they lifted the patient, a young man on to it, and helped wheel it down the hall, startled as the young man who had carried him, promptly legged it out the door, much to Carter's protests. They rolled him into the trauma room, and began their adventure for the night. 

An overdose. He had tried to kill him self, but they had managed to bring him back from the brink of death, and he was not happy. He yelled and cursed from his charcoal stained mouth. "YOU BITCH!" he screamed at Kerry, "I'M MEANT TO BE DEAD YOU BITCH, YOU TOOK AWAY MY ONLY CHANCE FOR PEACE…. BITCH" He collapsed into a fit of sobs on the gurney, repeating the words over and over again. Kerry watched him, she had often thought about killing herself, to have some sort of peace. But each time she hadn't been strong enough, instead she had found a better solution, a less permanent one, alcohol. She was never an alcoholic, she often told her self this, she was just relaxing, it was better than the alternative. She would have comforted him, put her arms around him, told him it was going be alright, whispered about her own experiences, but she was Kerry Weaver, she was a strong, tough determined doctor, she was Doctor Kerry Weaver, alpha bitch. And she was beginning to lose that. She watched as the man hugged his knees and began to rock back and forth. She didn't want to end up like that, but something told her, she would. 

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Malucci watched Weaver as she lowered her self into a chair at the desks. The pain of the task, visible in her face, she looked tired, she looked ill. For a few seconds Malucci found him self concerned about his Chief _'Probably been having too many late nights whipping the residents and medical students'_ he thought to himself. He smiled and carried on with his chart, every so often looking up to check on her. 

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They say you never know what's going on inside a mad man's head, until you go mad your self. That's all Kerry thought about as Mark explained to her that the patient had disappeared. 

 All the patient thought about as he hid in the shadows was Doctor Kerry Weaver.

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"Never be scared, never fear, because Kerry my Love, Mommy's here" Her mom would say this during lightning storms, when her friends told her scary stories, when something bad happened…. She wished that she could hear those words badly. That her mom could hold her, place Kerry in her lap and gently rock her whispering in her ear, till she fell asleep. How badly she wanted to have her Mom. How badly she wanted to be sane.

Things never worked out in her life, it was like one bad thing after another. Her childhood, her attack, her marriage, her career… She had a small amount of friends, no family apart from a sister, no life, no love, just work. She would work at the Hospital, then go home and work some more, frequently not eating and not sleeping. For a while she had Kim, and with Kim she was someone else, because Kim didn't see her as Weaver, bitch of the ER. Kim saw her as Kerry, friend and lover. And Kerry had screwed that up. Like everything else in her life. If only she'd played more as a kid instead of reading and working. If only she hadn't walked alone at night, she would still be able to walk without a crutch, she wouldn't have scars, or nightmares, she wouldn't have lost nearly a year of her life in Hospitals recovering, and she wouldn't have messed up her life.

If only she'd have tried harder with David, noticed that he was worker harder, staying at the office later, going on more and more business trips, he wouldn't have left her for another woman and she's still be married to him. If she had tried harder with Kim, told her how she felt, and what Kim meant to her, Kim would still be in her life, instead of a painful memory in the psyche department. So many ifs. If she had gotten to work earlier on Valentines Day, Lucy would still be alive. If she had noticed Carter's strange behaviour, if she had kept her nose out of Mark's illness, helped Kovac out with his patients, helped Carol, been nicer to Doug… The list was endless.

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Everyday she would stare into the mirror, and realise what she had become. It was her wake up call, as she stared into the mirror to see reality staring back at her. As she looked into the mirror of her locker, she faced the truth. Her fight was over, she couldn't fight anymore, she was tired and she was weak, this endless fight was being fought now with fear.

A fight she was losing, because she wasn't wanted. This was her end. She sat at the table, and popped two painkillers into her mouth and sipped her water. She looked at the bottle and for a few seconds contemplated popping the rest. 

This wasn't the first time. As she stared at the bottle, Carter walked in. She slid the bottle into her pocket "Headache" she muttered and crutched out painfully and slowly. 

Carter has used that phrase more than once. He looked down to his feet, and though about Kerry for a second. 

He looked out the window of the lounge, and saw Kerry leaning heavily against the corridor wall, with a chart in her hand. He then realised that was the only thing keeping her up, he then realised how ill she looked, he then realised Kerry.  
  


"To be honest Doctor Greene we're at a loss to where to look. We're following up on a few leads, but other than that, we're stumped. Hospital security has been doubled up, and security camera's turned on, but other than that, we're sorry" The head security guard fiddled with his pen, sometimes, he really hated his job. "Thanks Reg, we'll be fine. He's probably gone looking for drugs, we're not worried about safety, we're worried about the patient… well… sorta" The security guard let out a soft chuckle "Sure thing doctor Greene, safe night" Mark smiled and watched as the aged guard walked away with clipboard in hand. He noticed Kerry out of the corner of his eye, he watched her for a second, considered telling her to go home, but realised that would be liked asking Romano to have a hair cut, unlikely, impossible and life threatening. But she looked like hell. He would risk death and Romano this late at night. Anything because in all reality he felt awful that she looked that ill and was working. He approached carefully; noticing that the wall she was leaning on was the only thing keeping her up.  

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She noticed Mark approaching and tried to straighten up as much as possible. Mark looked down at his feet, noticing what Kerry was doing, he stopped in front of her, crossing his arms   
"Kerry.."  
"Mark"  
"Kerry, I'm gonna be honest here, you look like hell.."  
Kerry straightened out some more, wincing slightly at the pain, he noticed and looked away, he hated seeing someone as strong as Kerry in pain.  
" Kerry, go home, you're of no use to use here, when you're obviously ill, it's quiet, take advantage of the situation, you might not get a chance"  
"Mark.." She started but couldn't finish, she realised she could use the rest. She realised also that all the staff were watching and listening at the desk.   
"You'll page me if you need me?"  
"Yes"  
"Promise?"  
"Yes Kerry, don't worry, go home"  
"Mark, I don't like leaving you here, especially like this"  
"Kerry there's no patients, now go before I change my mind"  
She sighed, and walked off, occasionally slipping her hand against the wall to keep her balance. She disappeared into the lounge, with Mark and Carter watching after her. They both sighed with concern, wondering if they could help, and if Kerry would let them help.   
Kerry slipped out the hospital unnoticed, she didn't want to make a scene of asking Mark to phone her the minute something happened, she didn't want to see their faces as she left, she didn't want to see Carter's concern. She hated concerning Carter. She felt like such a nuisance doing it. In life, she just wanted to go unnoticed, as she usually did, but somewhere it went wrong and she turned into the rabid bitch of the ER. She juggled her bag with her crutch and keys, approaching the car.   
She unlocked the car and reached for handle, as she opened the door, she was aware of the fact her head was being slammed into it. She felt an arm snake around her waist, pulling her around to face her attacker. As he lent in close, she caught the scent of his foul breath, he brushed over her face with his, and to her ear, whispering, "You're mine" into it. Before a noise could escape her mouth, a hand was clasped over it.   
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"Carter, can I have a word?" Carter looked up from his chart to see Mark Greene, arms folded "Sure Dr Greene" He followed Mark into the lounge.  
"I wanted to talk to you about Kerry"  
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A hand danced over her face, unwanted and down her body. She cringed at his touch, shivering slightly at the injustice and feeling of helplessness. A cry escaped her clamped mouth as he violently stabbed her with a knife he had produced from nowhere. The burning in her abdomen intense, she felt herself slipping down her car, as her crutch, blood covered bounced off the ground.  
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"Has she been sick that you know of, flu or a cold?"  
"Not that I know Mark, but I havn't really talked to her much lately"  
"Through choice?"  
"No actually" He felt slightly violated by Marks questions, his thoughts of Kerry were his own "Since the Chen and Malucci incident, she's been pretty distant, well, even before then" He didn't know why the words were pouring from his mouth.  
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As she lay on the ground, blood began pooling by her sides from then numerous wounds. Her head to one side, her eyes blinking every so often, silent tears rolling down her face, as his weight pressed down on her body.   
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Carter couldn't believe the words pouring from his mouth, as he told Mark in great detail about Kerry's moods, about how she seemed depressed. How he was scared that she'd do something stupid. Mark's head snapped up "You don't think Kerry would do something that stupid?" "I honestly don't know Mark, she's been getting worse every week instead of getting better"   
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The salt water from her eyes mingled with the blood from her head running down her face and neck. She lay broken and violated. She couldn't move. The pain was intense, she knew she was going to die, her injuries were pretty extensive, and there was the factor that she would never be found. She had felt this before. Her attacker has stabbed her too many times, in different places; she figured she had internal bleeding too from being raped, not to mention a bad concussion. She prayed she would be found, as the minutes passed by, she realised she wasn't going to be, until it was too late.   
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Carter looked Mark Square in the eye "I am seriously worried about her, as I'm guessing you are, otherwise you wouldn't have talked to me"  
Mark stood down slightly from his authorative standing position "Carter, take my car, check on her, just to be safe, say we couldn't get through to her if she asks, we need her back at the hospital, I'll page you in an hour, she give you enough time, tell her it's okay, she's not needed anymore, apologise for bothering her and leave"  
"Mark.."  
"At least we'll know if she's okay or not, right?" He held the keys out to Carter; he accepted them and bolted towards the car garage.  
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Kerry fought against the darkness, trying to stay awake for as long as possible. She could hear footsteps approaching; she held her breath, hoping her attacker wasn't coming back for more. She heard a car door open and shut and an engine start, she tried screaming for help, but nothing came out of her mouth, apart from a small cry of pain. Her hope of being saved was leaving.  
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Carter jumped in Marks car in the darkened Car garage. He started the engine, pausing for a moment, he thought of Kerry. He reversed and pulled away. Not knowing what he was doing.  
  
He stood banging at her door for ten minutes, calling her phone. He could hear it ringing but no one answered. The lights were out and her car wasn't there. He began panicking, going through the keys on his chain, one of them opened Kerry's door. After he frantically went though them, a lifetime passed and he found them.   
Entering Kerry's apartment seemed strange, it hit him how he'd missed living there, once inside it was like he'd never left. Everything was still in the same place, still decorated the same. He flicked the lights on as he went through the house. She wasn't there. Her desk, usually tidy, was a flood of paper. He could see a lap top sticking out from the papers. He sighed, it wasn't like Kerry.   
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A thousand thoughts and memories flooded Kerry's mind. She thought of Lucy, knowing this is how she and Carter must have felt. She thought of the time before, she remembered things she had forgotten, the feeling of loneliness, of knowing death. Pain struck her body again, she cried out, but no one heard.   
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Carter jumped as his beeper went off. Using Kerry's phone he rang Mark.  
"She's not here, her car isn't either"  
The line was quiet for a few moments "okay, I don't think we need to panic, maybe she's gone grocery shopping or something"   
Carter shook his head " At this time of the morning?"  
"I get your point, I just don't think we should jump to conclusion here okay?"  
"Fine, I'm heading back now" he put the phone down, another sigh escaping his lips. He looked at Kerry's phone book; he noticed Kim Legaspi's number highlighted. He knew they were friends; he picked up the phone and started dialling.  
A groggy voice answered "Hello?"  
"Sorry to disturb you Dr Legaspi, it's John Carter"  
"Carter? What do you want? I'm off"  
"It's about Dr Weaver"   
"What? What's happened?" He could hear the concern in her voice.  
"Ummm... Don't worry, I'm just wondering, if you'd heard from her recently?"   
" No I havn't, Carter, is something wrong?"  
" No, sorry for disturbing you Dr Legaspi" He put the phone down before she could reply. He left the house, worrying.  
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Kerry tried her hardest to stay conscious, but every now and again, she slipped into the darkness, waking only when another jolt of pain shot through her body. She could hear a car, she tried calling for help, the words sticking in her throat. A small painful groan was all the escaped.   
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Carter walked through the car garage, trying not to worry. When he saw Kerry's car, it's all he could do.   
  
She could hear footsteps approaching, crying out in pain, she could hear the footsteps turn to running.   
  
First Carter saw the bloodied crutch, then he saw the knife, then he saw Kerry.

Time slowed, it was a nightmare relived. Carter dropped to Kerry's side "Kerry? Can you hear me? Kerry?" She blinked at him, the pain racking her tiny frame; she could no longer make any sound, through fear of the pain. "Oh Jesus" was all he Carter could manage as he found the numerous injuries. His hands fumbled through his pockets, pulling his cell phone out, dialling as fast as his fingers would let him.  
  
Randi popped her gum again, putting down her magazine as the phone rang "Hello County ER. Carter?"   
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Mark ran up the stairs, Malucci, Abby and Yosh following close behind with supplies, as they ran out into the parking garage, they heard Carter shouting, they didn't prepare them selves for what they were about to see.   
Carter knelt by Kerry, covered in blood, his white shirt now crimson, her breathing was laboured; she blinked every now and again, watching Carter, wincing in pain. "Hold on, they're nearly here"  
Mark ignored the scene of blood, and went straight to Kerry, Malucci and Abby hesitated for a second, horrified by the scene playing in front of them "Come on!" Mark shouted, Carter looked at Mark; exchanging glances _She's lost too much blood _Carter answered '_with we don't know how long she's been here, I went past her Mark I didn't see her'_ Mark answered aloud "You couldn't have known Carter" Security came running to the scene "Try not to move anything, the police are gonna need to inspect the area, we're sealing it off, when you've got her moved" Kerry watched Carter and Mark, pleading with her eyes _don't let me die_ It was killing them to watch Kerry, to treat her, as they gently placed her on the gurney, the ran through the garage and through the hospital to the ER. The trauma room didn't know what they were about to see.  
As Kerry was rolled through the ER on the gurney, hundreds of thoughts ran through her mind They're going to see me like this, they can't see me like this, not this weak '_not this open, oh god they're gonna find out, oh God they'll know what happened, oh_ _God not again'_.  
They ran into the trauma room, the team stood rooted to the spot   
"Surgery's on its way!"  
"Absent breath sounds on the right"  
"Spin a crit, call for blood"  
"Push some tamponade and sucs"   
"Stab wounds to the left shoulder, and chest, Jesus, three more to the Belly, left and right upper quadrants"   
"BP is 90 over 50"   
"Another stab wound to the abdomen... Chief."   
"Oh Man, Dr Greene, I think you better take a look at this" As Mark moved towards Abby, he knew what he was about to see "Better get a rape kit." The room suddenly went quiet.   
"Start a central line"  
"Get me a number 8 ET tube"  
"Bloods here"  
"Hang it on the rapid infuser, give me some crancoid pressure"  
Kerry looked at Mark with pleading eye's "It's okay Kerry, we're gonna tube you now, don't worry, we'll have you back in no time" As she began drifting off, she began to whisper, as he leaned in to hear her, it almost broke his heart "I'm sorry" Her eyes closed. As he began tubing Kerry he imagined it was how Kerry felt treating Lucy.  
"Tubes in, start the central line"  
"Betadine and sterile drip"   
"Pulse ox is 83"  
"Give it a minute"  
Randi entered the room "Dr Greene, The Police are here, they need to talk to whoever found Kerry, and saw her before she left the shift, I've got her file down, I've called the next of Kin"  
"Thank you Randi" He looked at Carter who stood watching from the end of the gurney "you better call Kim Legaspi as well" he added. Randi left the room, entering the toilets, she looked in the mirror, splashing her face with some cold water, she exited, hoping no one could see she was crying.

The dream world was a friend for Kerry. As she relived the attack in her dreams, they tried they're best to save her in the waking world.

Elizabeth Corday raced through the corridors towards trauma, looking desperately for some sigh that it was a joke. It wasn't.

Mark stood in a paper smock covered in blood, working furiously, Carter was mesmerised, in shock, watching, every now and again helping, Malucci was working hard, every now and again looking at the patient and going pale, Abby worked silently at the end of the room, Elizabeth noticed she was working on a rape kit. The room was alive with noise, from the doctors, from the nurses, from the machines. Elizabeth entered, she didn't want to look at the table but she had to, she had to see who was lying there.

She felt the nausea rise, seeing the pale and lifeless Kerry. Breathing deeply she continued on

"Mark...?" He looked up, concern flooding his face, she knew instantly it wasn't good. Listening as Mark gave the bullet, she couldn't keep her eyes off Kerry, the words echoing around her head "_I hope you get some terminal disease so I can be of no help to you'_

Lily appeared, helping Elizabeth into a smock and gloves. Moving in close, she saw Kerry's face, pale and dead. Her fire had gone out. Her eyes were dark and bruised, noting the injuries to the face, her photographic memory taking a picture, something she didn't want to keep, but she knew it would appear in her nightmares. 

"Xerofome and elastoplast"

"Belly's distended, maybe an inter-abdominal bleed"

"Get ultra sound"

"Blood loss?"

"About 500 in the thoroseal, not sure how many before Car… before she was found..." 

"Dr Greene...?" Mark looked up to Abby, her eyes pained, he knew the rape exam was positive; Abby looked at Haleh "Can you get me a suture kit?" Haleh understood, walking out the room, the hushed whispers went unnoticed in the room, they didn't know of the further violation that Kerry had endured, they didn't need to. All they knew was that an exam was carried out, not that it was positive. Elizabeth stopped for a few seconds, meeting Mark's gaze, she felt her face fall, looking at Kerry, she felt nothing but pain. 

" Pressures dropping, it's down to 60"

"Okay, she needs volume now"

"Losing her pulse"

"Open a thoracotomy tray"

"Staring compressions"

"We're in PEA" 

"Prep the chest, we're gonna have to crack her"

"Amp of epi" As the chest was prepped, some of them noticed the scars on it. Looking at the fresh wounds, they wondered.

"Sternal saw"

They had been through this with Lucy; it was painful to watch Kerry go through it, who had taken so much pride with using it. As machines beeped, Mark began the incision, Elizabeth taking a breath before using the sternal saw.

"Rib spreader, suction"

As the machines beeped, and Elizabeth and Mark worked feverishly, Malucci started the ultra sound. He moved it slowly along, noting a long scar he traced along her abdomen. The ultra sound picked up something "Got something here" As Benton arrived; he joined Malucci, daring not to look up at Kerry.

"V-FIB!"

"Charge internal paddles, start compressions"

"Pericardium's open, there's a major haemorrhage here"

"Suction"

"I need some 4-0 prolene and a r.b-1 needle now"

Malucci looked up "Belly's full of blood"

"I think it's the spleen"

"Charge the paddles to 15"

Elizabeth finished sewing as fast as she could, Malik cutting the thread. They stepped back as Mark stepped up with the paddles:

"Clear… Abby clear"

She moved backwards on her stool, they raised their hands, Malucci looked away, as they shocked Kerry's heart.

Another round of epi was administered, and another shock. Mark wiped the perspiration away with the back of his glove.

"Okay, charge again" He whispered under his breath 'you're not getting outta being chief' as he shocked again, the monitors beeped back to life, everyone breathed out, unaware they were holding their breath. 

"Sinus Tach"

"Hand another two units, and check her pressure"

"Okay, we need a portable monitor now, I'm moving her to the OR now"

"Abby you finished?" She nodded, closing a test tube with a swab inside, putting everything into a kit and closing the contents. 

"OR have been informed you're coming up"

"Pulse ox is up to 95"

Unplugging Kerry they moved towards the elevators, Abby following, Mark taking the kit from her, Malik placing the drug box on the gurney, racing toward the elevators, they realised that they could lose Kerry. The doors opened and they moved inside. The doors shut on a broken and shocked ER. Malik watched Carter nearly fly up the stairs, following Kerry. He intended to be in the OR with her. He wasn't going to lose her, and if he did, he wanted to say goodbye, he didn't want it to end like Lucy.

"Ummm, Hello" Randi turned around to be faced with a pale, dark haired young girl. 

"Can I help you?" Randi's voiced had taken a softer quiet tone, almost worried.

"Umm I was called… About my sister, Kerry Weaver" The girl held in her hand a small bit of crumbled paper, words scribbled over it. Randi let her shoulders fall. "Okay, I'll find someone to talk to you, your name is?" 

"Madeline, Madeline Eaton" Randi stood back "Okay, take a seat and someone will be right with you" "Err Can I ask, what is it about? I mean, is Kerry okay?" Randi noticed Madeline looking around at the security and police talking to doctors and nurses. Randi felt for the young girl, but she knew it wasn't her place to say anything. Biting on her tongue, she looked at the girl "I can't say, I'm sorry, you'll have to wait for the doctor" Randi felt like putting her hand on the girls shoulder, but she refrained, instead going in search of Mark Greene.

Approaching chairs, he didn't know what to say. He watched Randi as she pointed out a young girl, darkly dressed with dark hair. 

He approached "Madeline Eaton?" She stood up quickly "Yeah" 

"I'm Dr Greene, you're Kerry Weaver's sister?"

"Yes, what's going on?" She pleaded with him, not just verbally, but with her eyes, reminding Mark of Kerry, pleading with her eyes on the gurney. He placed a hand on her shoulder "Take a seat"

Randi watched from the admit desk as Mark talked to the girl. She watched as she put her hand over her mouth in shock, the tears build up in her eyes, but not spilling over. She watched as Mark led the girl away. Randi lowered her head, sighing slightly. 

"How long she been there?" Carter moved his head to one side "Since Kerry came out of surgery" Mark shuffled his feet; Carter continued to stare through the glass window at Kerry. "What are the doctors saying?" Carter shook his head slightly at Mark, looking at the floor "it's just a matter of time" Mark looked away.  A nurse approached Kerry's bed and Carter could see Madeline stand up and walk out the room, slowly. Mark panicked; placing a hand on Carter's should "Page me if anything… happens" He walked away, as Madeline walked out into the corridor taking a seat on the plastic chairs opposite.

Carter walked to the vending machines, returning a few moments with two cokes in hand.  Handing one to Madeline he sat down.

"Thanks Dr Carter" She tapped it lightly and opening and sipping it.

"Why don't you go home for a while, get some rest?" She looked at the floor ahead of her

"I don't want to… not be here"

"You're not superman, you need sleep"

"I don't want to leave her alone again"

"I'll stay with her"

"If it's all the same, I wanna stay"

Carter sighed quietly "How are you holding up?"

She smiled and chuckled softly "I'm going through hell thank you, yourself?"

"Madeline... "

"Maddie, Maddie, I only get called Madeline when I'm being grounded"

"Maddie, come get something to eat, you must be starving"

"The nurses brought me something to eat"

Carter sipped his coke.

"I can't believe I'm going through this again, that Kerry's going through this again" Her voice broke as she spoke. "Once was bad enough, but twice, Twice!" She tried to keep the tears from spilling over. Carter's face turned from concern to confusion. She looked at him "She never told you, she never told anyone for that matter. Doesn't surprise me she never brought it up. Especially what happened to you"

He leaned his head slightly to the side "Kerry and I were close, when she had a problem, she would talk to me about it sometimes. I've heard a lot about you"  
Carter smiled slightly "She talked a lot about the people she worked with, but you… She liked you… She likes you, cares about you"

"I care about her"

"It was nice when you lived with her, it made me feel safe too, knowing she wasn't alone"

She placed the can on the floor, putting her head in her hands for a second.

"This is like a nightmare, a recurring one, twice Doctor Carter, this is the second time it's happened to her, that someone's destroyed her"

Carter's face didn't register shock, it registered realisation.

"When our Mom was sick, in the hospital, Kerry never left her side. We were sitting in the hallway outside Mom's room one night, like this talking. We knew Mom was gonna die… " She took a deep breath. Carter moved forward, resting his elbows on his knees, listening to Madeline. "Kerry told me, that every soul is given a certain amount that they have to achieve and do in life. She said that Mom had completed and achieved hers and she was moving on to somewhere better. Mom died that night, and I clung to what Kerry said… It dulled the pain of reality. That's what I believe for Kerry right now, that she has completed all the pain and suffering, if not more, that her soul was assigned and she's moving on, to be with Mom" She sighed deeply, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Kerry and Mom were my adopted family, but they were the only family I have ever had. I love them so much" She choked out the words, her voice trembling. 

Carter didn't know if he should try to hug her, or put his arm around her, made she made the decision for him. She stood up and walked over to the window looking through to the ward. She lent her forehead against the window, Carter now stood by her side.

Kerry lay on a bed, covered in tubes and wires. A tube protruding from her mouth. Numerous machines beeped and moved. Kerry looked so small on the bed. 

So fragile like a doll. 

Robert Romano could now be seen looking over Kerry, a chart in his hand. He flipped through the chart, checked her vitals, then placed the chart on her bed. Carter watched as Romano touched Kerry's hand very briefly, a sadness reigning over his face, before moving onto the next patient. Carter could see him looking over to Weaver every now and again. '_So he's human after all' _Carter thought.

Romano finishing with the patient exited the room, walking towards Madeline.

"Miss Eaton… "  He looked at Carter, unsure if he wanted the young doctor to stay or leave. "I can leave if you want Madeline" 

"No… Stay, you're her friend"   
"Miss Eaton, Your sister had sustained numerous injuries… " Carter shut off at this point, he had given this speech so many times in his life. 

Just a matter of time… 

It was then that the beeping started, and the alarms went off. Carter's world slowed, he could see and faintly hear a nurse shouting, he was vaguely aware of Romano running off and of Madeline following.

Twenty minutes later, Madeline walked out. Looking up with a tear stained face, she shook her head at Carter, wiping her eyes and taking a sharp intake of breath. Carter looked at the floor and then he found himself walking towards Madeline.   
Romano watched through the window as Carter embraced the young girl, his gaze shifting to the still form of Kerry Weaver. Pulling the curtain around the bed, he walked away. 

The funeral passed quickly. A few work colleagues, her sister many unknown faces. Among the faces sat Kim Legaspi. She sat numb, she carried the letter Kerry wrote her everywhere since she heard Kerry had died. _"I appreciate the sentiment"_ She shook her head at herself, the pain she put Kerry through all because they were both stubborn. Now she couldn't even say she was sorry. 

Randi turned around to be faced my Madeline; she didn't know whether to offer her condolences or stay quiet. Instead she offered sympathetic glances. "Dr Greene's expecting me" Randi nodded, paging Greene. 

Mark had prepared himself for this, Madeline was coming to clean out Kerry's locker, it would be difficult, but it had to be done. 

Showing her inside the doctor's lounge he quickly opened the locker. Stepping back, he let Madeline start sorting through the treasures inside, placing them into a cardboard box. He watched what she pulled out, his breath catching as she pulled out Kerry's spare crutch. She paused for a moment, before closing the locker, removing the pictures from it, then taking the box under her arm and crutch in her hand, she walked out and through the ER, where all the doctors and nurses seemed to stop and watch, some averting their glances to the floor. Walking out the ambulance bay into the waiting rain, she disappeared from the ER. 


End file.
